The Edge

Michael stood still and stared at the men who were echoing their leader in what they had seen. He questioned them fiercely while I sat with my hands still in my lap, listening closely.

Yes, three sets of footprints were on the muddy heath ground near the garden wall and up to the gate. Two smaller prints, one for certain a woman's and the third was a man with the size of the boot prints. The man and woman turned away from the hall, walking towards the park and were lost in the thick grass after twenty feet. The third pair of footprints, which might be man or woman for they could not tell which, went through the gate and along the lower garden towards the house but were lost from the moment the person had stepped onto the gravel walk. The size of these prints was no help, they were either a large female pair or a small man's pair. Round toed boots, walking boots, a common shape and worn by most of the population of the valley but which matched the set in the dairy. No, nothing had been taken so far. The silver and valuables were in their places, no items were missing. All of the horses were still in their stalls. There were no broken windows.

Michael considered and then said he wanted the garden gate to be chained shut instantly. The key was to be given to him. All windows were to be shut and locked and checked by Jones each night and again in the morning. He himself would lock the front door. He then sent the men away and the maids back to their duties. He told Jones and Mrs Levin to watch and see if any member of staff acted suspiciously. It might well be simply gypsies or some other type of vagrant but we must all be sure.

Continuing to avoid speaking to me directly, he asked Nurse Ruth to take me up to my bedroom and that he would inform us if there were any news. As I rose to go, he turned back to his sister and brother in law. I was clearly superfluous to his wants. I was also terribly worried by what had happened. Although the footprints of Anna and Daniel could not be traced, mine had been connected to the house. What if they checked my boots? But of course, they would not, they all thought me locked in my room under guard of Nurse Ruth.

I walked upstairs with her, hardly noticing a thing, such was the tumult in my head. I must see Daniel soon, the torment here was too much for me. I wanted nothing more than to be away, as soon as possible. Inside the room, I asked for peace but Nurse was worried by my inattention and general nervousness. She reassured me, there was no reason to fear and I must not fret. She made me sit down in the window seat, with the window open to let in some fresh air and then, once I was calmer, she took me to the rocking chair and let me sit there, rocking back and forth by the fire as she made tea and toast. The constant stress was so exhausting that I had become dreamy, as though I were in some sort of trance and about to fall asleep.

I ate my hot buttered toast with lashings of honey, I drank three cups of tea. I asked Nurse to read to me, I wanted comfort and quiet. For a time the only noise was the soft crackling of the fire and the sound of Nurse's voice. I drifted on the river of calm that I seemed to be stuck on until a knock at the door roused me. Nurse got up, answered and then Michael was admitted. He asked Nurse if I was quite well, received an answer in the affirmative and then asked if he might speak with me privately. Once Ruth had gone, he took her seat beside me and looked me over. His voice penetrated the dense calmness which had me.

"You must have been greatly distressed by what has happened today? Well, you will be glad to know that I have taken proper precautions and the garden gate has now been secured. Two men will patrol the edge of the gardens to ensure safety and the house will be properly locked up each night. However I am of the opinion that we are and were in no danger. I doubt that robbery was the object." He noticed my startled look and continued.

" Yes, robbery is still an option but since we know that the house was breached yet nothing taken, I think that it may have been some sort of meeting instead, an assignation perhaps. It is certain three people were involved but only one from the house. Perhaps a maid meeting a lover or perhaps something more. I do not wish to shock you but it has been heard of that more than two can be involved in a love affair." I endeavoured to make myself look shocked. He noted my expression.

"There is of course one last possibility. That you yourself might have asked someone to take a message out for you to some person in the village. I don't suppose that has been your plan? No? That is well. Besides you have been secured in these rooms with no way to send out any message. Although, I did come to this chamber late yesterday evening and had no reply to my knock. It was around half past nine. Here were you, my wife?" His eyes drilled into mine, I felt my throat grow dry. I gave a simple answer, one which he could not break. That I had been in the bathroom, and had not heard any such knock.

"I see. And where was Nurse Ruth? You see, she usually comes down to get some supper around eight, and she was nowhere to be found. Was she too in the bathroom with you?" I nodded, yes. He seemed satisfied. Rising, he told me to be at peace, he was sure they would find an answer soon. He went to the door, invited Ruth back in. He was not finished however.

He asked where she had been all the previous evening. Ruth answered honestly and said asleep. She had fallen asleep in the early evening and slept all night. Michael looked at me, smiled unpleasantly and asked why I had lied to him. I shook my head, unwilling to give an answer. He filled one in for himself.

"I am sure you wish to protect your nurse. She was asleep on duty and you were in the bath alone. That is so, is it not? Very well. I forgive your lie, you are a loyal woman to your friends. Nurse Ruth, I wish to speak with you privately." So saying, he stepped out, followed by my nurse. I felt sick, I had caused yet more trouble.

I rose and walked about the room. Ten minutes later she came back in. Her face was worried. She looked at me and sat down in her chair with a heavy thump.

"Master has dismissed me. He has already sent for a nurse from town and I am to go in a few hours once she arrives. He has been displeased for a while and my sleeping on duty has been the last straw. I am afraid that he means to have you watched more closely than ever, my lady." I ran to her, apologised, said I had meant no harm. She patted my hands, she was aware of this. And she should not starve, now she would go back to her regular duties. However I must have a care, this new nurse was my husband's helper, not mine and may be asked to watch me more closely than before. I must not write any letters or do anything out of the ordinary. Would I allow her to go and pack? She would return once this was done, she must be ready to go once this woman arrived.

With her gone, I looked for Bess. She was there and I could see she was more worried than ever. I knew I was trapped. I could no longer get out at night. I had no helpful nurse but a true jailer now. I could not get a message out, I was trapped. I must hide the things I had stolen from Rhiannon's room!

I took out the medicines, the key of the room, the small flask and looked about me. Bess guided me, the window seat was hollow. I pulled off the cushions and opened the end piece of the seat which hid the entrance to a secret storage place. I pushed all these items in there. I replaced the seat and it was invisible. She told me there as another space, in the bottom of the wardrobe, this was the other space she had used. I remembered Rhiannon's story of finding diaries in there. Bess nodded, yes, they would still be there. I might look at them if I chose but she would prefer that I did not. They were her private thoughts and contained much that was sacred to her. I told her of Rhiannon's request that I burn them. Bess nodded again, if I would do that before I escaped she would be grateful.

Ruth came back in, we sat by the fire where she tried to cheer me but I was miserable, I felt oppressed by a great weight. I asked her if she might help me in any way still. She shook her head, she could do little. I asked if she could see the doctor? Might she tell him of the new developments? I was feeling unwell with anxiety, might he be asked to come and see me the following day? Nurse gave her word to tell him and ask that he attend me, he could say that I was worried about the baby. After this we heard footsteps on the stairs then outside the room.

Michael came in and told her that she might go, her replacement was here. Ruth stood, curtseyed to me and then left.

In her place came a hatchet faced woman, with light hair tied back severely into a bun and topped with a mob cap. Her grey dress and white apron were spotless and her eyes were hard, shrewd, blue marbles. Her mouth was thin. Her nose with long and thin. She had long thin fingers. She was introduced to me as Mrs Evans, who would act as my nurse until after the birth. I rose, went and took her hand to welcome her. Her fingers were cold and she barely squeezed mine in return. She would go an unpack her things, unless I wanted anything right at that moment? When she had gone, I turned to my husband, I wished to ask him if I might have access to the craft room, the light was better for sewing and other work. He nodded, yes I could do this. Now, he would leave me to get better acquainted with Mrs Evans. Without touching me he strode out and locked me in.

Alone I looked around for Bess. She was in the looking glass, as horrified as I was. We talked in quick whispers, but neither one of us could see escape unless we first drugged our new jailer. All I could hope for was that Ruth could get a message to Daniel and that he would allowed to see me. I must seem anxious and unwell until he came, not a hard task for me since I was utterly oppressed and shaken by these new developments.

Mrs Evans came in. She asked what I was to do until supper time. I said that I had planned to do some work in the craft room, she shook her head. I would strain my eyes, the light was too poor at this time. I should perhaps do some reading or needlework in here, by the light of the lamps. I picked up my knitting and sat in the window seat, looking over the valley. That way I could seem, to have my eyes on my work yet really look towards the place where people were, where Anna and Daniel and Ruth were. Mrs Evans sat down in a hard backed chair near by me, took out some needlework and began to sew in silence. I knitted and looked and let my mind wander from the room where I was a prisoner.

Daniel. Dr Daniel Thomas Crowner. The man who had loved me for several years and who last night had proclaimed his love. I had felt his lips on mine, his body against mine. It seemed half a dream but one that was so sweet, so perfect, one that would be reality when I awoke from the terror that currently held me. How could I feel something for him so quickly when I had not before that moment? Was I fooling myself or letting him have false hope? Was I wrong?

No. I knew what it was. I had always thought him handsome, clever, witty and accomplished. I had admired him always. I had simply never thought myself his equal. I had never thought that he would chose me or that I was free to be chosen. He seemed so moral, that even no when I wanted to escape, I could not understand why such a man would chose to love a unchaste woman, one who had known someone other than her husband and who carried another mans child.

He had shown me his reasons. He had loved me for so long and he wanted to be my white knight, to save me but was this enough? I had to know, I had to understand.

And my reasons? My feelings, were they real? I thought back to when he had kissed me, to that feeling and realised what it was. I felt at peace with him. I felt his equal. I felt safe and pure. It was like coming home after so long at sea, it was company when I had been alone, it was safety when all around had been fear. Love could grow in less fertile climates but that it was love was still true. My white knight. I prayed for his return. I looked out to the far off glitter of lights from the village. I wondered if he were thinking of me, my Daniel. I could do nothing but wait, like a princess trapped in a tower.

As I continued to gaze at the view, no longer caring about Mrs Evans's eyes on me, I realised why I had fell in love in only moments. It was because he loved me, flawed as I was, and saw me as an equal. His brave bird, flying free.