The Edge

After an hour's painting in the craft room, watched by the evil woman who seemed to grow more terrible by the second, a maid arrived with my supper tray. I ate as much as I could then Mrs Evans said she would take my tray down herself as she wished to have her dinner apart from me. She picked up the now empty tray and shut the door on me, locking me in.

Once I had heard her footsteps along the corridor, I let myself breath properly. I was alone, without her spider eyes on me. I remembered how she had looked at me and felt sick.

The sudden respite from her was so intense that all my vitality left me in a moment. I lay my head on my hand as I sat in my chair, leaned and let my eyes close for just a moment....

I awoke in the doll's house. I was in the craft room but the door was open wide. The sun poured through the window, I could see late winter blue sky’s and a fresh cool view.

Bess came in.

“We are alone. How long you have been!” She was smiling and her face looked mischievous. I asked what she meant.

“I have been waiting for ages! I do not know how but I let my mind go blank and then suddenly I was here. There is no one else here at all. We never replaced the dolls the last time we were here so apart from us two, we have the entire house to ourselves. Are you aright?” She asked, seeing my face. I quickly told her about Mrs Evans and what had happened after tea. She winced.

“I know her sort. She sounds much like a few of the nurses from the asylum in my time. They enjoyed the punishment side of their work a little too much for comfort. What you must do is not react to her. I know it is hard but what she thrives on is your pain and discomfort and the thought of what she will do to you in the future. If you do not react, if you stay calm and then tell your husband what she has said, then perhaps you may be rid of her, in some way.” I could see the sense but it did not please me, I hated that woman with a passion.

“Come. Let us leave her alone and enjoy our time here. We are free to go about as we will, let us go outside!”

we fairly ran down the stairs. The outdoors was beautiful, cold and clean. The blue sky’s were so fresh that the air burned our lungs. We walked around the entire garden and once we were cold enough, we went in through the kitchen door. We made ourselves a picnic of cold meat, bread and cakes, washed down with a rich red wine. This done, we went to the music room and enjoyed a carefree time singing together. The house was so easy to be in, it was hard to realise it was not real.

All at once I felt a faintness and I sat down on one of the sofas. Moments later I could hear a voice calling me and my eyes found nothing but darkness...

I awoke in the craft room. Mrs Evans was by the door and Mrs Levin, with Sarah the housemaid, was holding the smelling bottle to my nose. I was told to sit still and not move, to drink some brandy and that they would help me to bed as soon as I might feel able. I felt well enough in five minutes and was supported to my bed. Sarah stayed to help me undress, Mrs Evans stirred up a cup of mulled wine. I drank it but it had a strange taste. I felt myself feeling sick as a dog then that the floor, the walls and ceiling were moving. I held on to Sarah and screamed in terror.

I saw Mrs Levin run back in, heard her asking Mrs Evans what had happened. I felt blackness descending upon me, my hands slip from Sarah's arm then nothing, nothing, nothing.

When I woke up, I was in bed but there seemed to be a room full of people. My vision was blurred and I felt weary and my head ached. Someone held a bottle of salts to my nose, I was offered water and gradually the dizziness cleared and my vision became true again.

I could see Daniel! Daniel beside my bed, taking my pulse! Next to him was Mrs Levin, who held the salts and water, Sarah on the other side who held a fan and was sponging my temples. Mrs Evans was behind her, looking grim for once and at the end of the bed was Michael, Victoria and her husband.

As I looked about me, most faces seemed to relax and grow lighter. Daniel said quietly to Mrs Levin that my pulse was normal. He gently asked how I felt and was gratified when I stated that I was well, though I felt weak and my memory was strangely absent. What had happened? Mrs Levin told me that I had been victim to a sort of fit and fallen unconscious. I could not be roused and so the doctor had been called in. I asked after my baby and was told that the child was moving and the heart beat was strong. I asked the time, it was two in the morning.

Victoria was seated on a chair, I realised there were tears in her eyes! Her husband, Michael, both seemed relieved. Daniel said that I must be allowed to sleep. There would be time enough for questions in the morning, it was best that I rested. He told Victoria to go to bed, she must rest, for her baby’s sake. Her husband left with her. He then spoke to Michael and said he would stay the night by my bedside in case some sort of relapse occurred. He would keep Mrs Evans with him for nurse.

Sarah went out then, followed by Mrs Levin who said she would offer a prayer to God for my safe delivery from sickness. Mrs Evans settled into the chair Sarah had left with a courteous nod to my husband. Michael came to my bedside and kissed my forehead, placed a hand on my belly. He was glad that I was recovering, now I must do better and be well enough to rise in the morning. He gave good nights to the others and left.

With Mrs Evans sat beside me, Daniel could hardly say anything but just knowing he was there was a relief. I let myself lie back, I soon slipped down into a dream of a winters day walk, the blue sky above and freedom all about me.

In the morning I awoke late, at nine. Mrs Evans was else where, Daniel was asleep in the chair beside me. I sat up and looked at him. Asleep, I could see the long fair lashes of his eyes sweeping down and the pale lilac colour of his lids. I leant forward and kissed him on the nose and giggled as he started awake. He saw me and beamed, placed a finger to his lips and then leant forward and kissed me on the mouth, tenderly but with a hunger which I revelled in.

he took my pulse again, then my temperature. Both were normal. Was I hungry? I was famished and he called out to Mrs Evans who came in and was ordered to bring tea, toast and honey for me. She went with a very bad grace indeed. Once her footsteps were out of earshot Daniel leant forward again, wrapped both arms around he and held me to him. He rubbed my belly, he stroked my face and looked at me so lovingly I was taken aback. My hair was a mess, I looked pale and wan. He said not at all, I looked delicious, my hair a desirable tangle. He told me it was the intimacy of my look that pleased him. Was I sure I felt well? Enough to get up? He fetched my shawl and helped me to sit in the chair by the fire. I was a little weak but otherwise not impaired. Mrs Evans returned and said that my breakfast was being brought, the doctor asked her to bathe me, and help me dress while it was being prepared, he would then help her to take me downstairs. With more of the same bad grace, she obeyed.

Dressed in a loose empire lined cream gown, I ate my breakfast while Sarah dressed my hair. Then I was helped downstairs, mainly by Sarah and Daniel. I was careful to address him as Dr Crowner.

I was taken to the library where my husband was already sitting, with Mrs Levin and his sister and brother in attendance. At my appearance Victoria gave a little cry and got up, came to me and helped me to a chair, was I aright, was I well, was I sure I should be up? I was surprised by her attention but enjoyed it none the less. It was pleasant after weeks of friction.

Michael then asked the doctor to give his diagnosis. Daniel said that he thought perhaps I required more fresh air. The faint could have been caused by want to exercise....but then Sarah burst in. She was another local girl who had been in service with the family for six years.

“Beg pardon, M'lord but that isn’t quite how it was.” Michael and the others looked at her, Mrs Levin quietly admonished her to address my husband as 'your Lordship'. Michael beckoned her to carry on.

“It wasn’t a faint, as I saw it, your Lordship. It was the drink. I saw the new nurse put some sort of syrup into a drink she gave her Ladyship and then she went all queer.”

At this, all eyes went to Mrs Evans who still wore her calm half smile. She stepped forward and answered quietly.

“It was merely a stimulant. I thought it might help her Ladyship’s appetite which has been poor. I think that perhaps I gave a little over much.” Daniel asked her to kindly step out with him and fetch this bottle, he needed to see what it was for himself. While they were away, Michael questioned Sarah on what she had seen, Victoria shook and pressed my hands a little, requiring Mrs Levin to give her the smelling bottle and the room was full of talk. My head began to ache and my brother in law fetched me and his wife glasses of wine with water. We were in need of relief, it had been a trying time.

Daniel came back in with Mrs Evans after ten minutes. He looked grimly at Michael.

“It appears to be some sort of stimulant medicine but not one which I recognise. While I am sure Mrs Evans was doing her best to help, I do not think it should be used on an expectant mother or without a doctor's permission.” Michael turned to Mrs Evans. He spoke calmly but sternly, she was on no account to think of giving me any medicine unless strictly authorised by Dr Crowner as my attending physician. Did she need reminding that there was also an innocent life at stake? He thanked her for the thought but in future...This time it was Mrs Levin who broke in. She was quiet and composed as usual but her face was set.

“If you please, your Lordship, I beg to raise another issue. While Mrs Evans may well be a competent nurse, she is not a ladies maid. I think it is a gross act of misconduct to have her acting as confidential aid to her Ladyship, and I must also say that I am concerned that her Ladyship has not been allowed to leave her room these many days past. I do not mean to question your Lordship but I am afraid that with so many things to think of, you may not be aware of what is proper in this case.” I was genuinely shocked that she would broach the subject at all, let alone in front of all these people but Mrs Levin stood firm, looked my husband in the eye and spoke as calmly and composedly as ever.

Michael looked to his sister who was still tearful and she nodded to him. At this signal he stepped forward and said that he was sorry to have let the matter slip his mind, that he had been much concerned by other things and that I might have Sarah wait on me when I wished. My personal maid was on leave and would be back soon. As for the rest, he had been thinking of me and had simply wanted for me to have ample rest. However, since the doctor had decreed that I needed exercise, he sanctioned me to come and go as I pleased but always escorted to prevent any attacks of faintness or accidents.

Mrs Levin bowed and took Sarah back to work, Michael said he must do some work on the estate and would his brother assist him? Daniel took his leave, Victoria went to the morning room and Mrs Evans helped me back upstairs. I wished to go out but a rain was blowing and it looked very grey and dull besides.

In my room, I said I would settle at my work. The other woman said that she would go and sort a few things out in her own room but I should ring if I wanted anything. As she left, she still had her strange little half smile. It surprised me, I so expected her to look chastened. The fact that she did not made me worried.

As soon as the door shut I looked about for Bess but could not see her anywhere. I went out into the hall and then into the craft room. The empty chamber yawned at me. I sat beside the dolls house. It looked a sorry sight with the dolls laid beside it. I began to place them again, mostly down in the music and sittings then realised that the doll portraying Bess was still up in her bedroom. I picked it up and looked at it. Replacing it, I placed mine beside her and stared hard at the doll's house.

“Is anything the matter, my lady?”

Mrs Evans was standing just behind me, she was so noiseless that I had not heard her come in. I explained that I had a fancy to do some work on the doll's house. She stepped up until she was beside me and bent over it, peering closely at each room. Shed picked up the doll of myself.

“Cunningly made. Your work, my lady?” I told her no, it had been done by the professional restorer we had hired. All the dolls were his work, as well as much of the furniture. I was responsible for the painting and papering. She smiled a little wider and considered my doll. Then she reached for the doll of Bess.

“And who is this, my lady? Some relation?” I decided to be honest on that score.

“Yes, she was my husband's great grandmother. It was she who first built this doll's house and so I thought it fitting to have her represented to future generations. She is the lady in that portrait that hangs there.” I indicated the large painting. Mrs Evans considered the portrayal in the painting with the doll in her hand. She replaced the doll and took up the others, looking through them.

“Very like, all of them. You seem to have a keen interest in the past, my lady. This little one seems to be missing from the real family however?” she held up the doll of my son.

“Your lost boy, I am sure. Well, it's a kind heart that brought him into the fantasy world here, as he cannot be in the real one. You must find this a great solace, my lady, in your times of sorrow. Such a sweet little toy. One which allows you to have the life you truly want. I think the lady who made this was also of great imagination?” She replaced all the dolls precisely. A hand of hers rested on my shoulder as she leant across to put my son into the nursery.

Her face came up close to mine. Her eyes looked directly into mine.

“I hope you enjoy your solace my lady. You may not have it for long. No matter what a few servants say, your husband is the law in this house. You are still under watch, make no mistake on that. The web may have grown bigger but it is still a web.”

And with that she took herself off to the other room. I heard her low chuckle of malicious glee as she went. I shuddered. Her hands were cold as ice and her fingers had inflamed joints, larger than the bones of the hand. It made them look like claws.

I looked back at the house. I wondered again where Bess was. Surely she was still; there? I wondered if she were still inside the doll's house.

Taking this idea, I decided to find out. I had found the way in, I merely had to sleep. I lent my head on my hand, let my eyes shut, let myself begin to dream and......

found myself inside my bedroom. Bess was shaking my shoulder.

“You are here at last! I was calling you and calling you! I can hardly believe it! You may wonder at my words but they are true! I have not left this place! It has changed all my world! I no longer exist in the glass, I exist in here and what is more, I can hear and see all of you!” I asked her to explain and she did so, breathless with excitement.

“It is as if I were really walking about the house,. I can see and hear everything but cannot be seen. I saw the meeting in the library today and what happened to you last night.” Her face grew scared again, apparently there was much to tell.

“You must beware, my dear friend! I know the drink you were given, it is a stimulant, yes, but one which causes fits of madness! It is made from some herbal fungus and was, I am sure, designed to make you seem mad! If you had not had that servant present and had not fainted....”

I shuddered. Had Mrs Evans truly tried to drug me? Bess nodded.

“It was on orders. You noticed your sister was so distressed? That was guilt, my friend. It was she who arranged for Mrs Evans and she who told her to turn you mad. Her comments and speeches and strange ways? All to turn your sweet head. But your sweet sister did not think she would drug you and endanger your baby. That is why she was so distressed. And if I am not mistaken, she will be needing to speak with Mrs Evans today to find out what happened! I caught some conversation between them last night, this is how I know of their plan. They meet again this evening before dinner. We two must listen in. We may stay within the dolls house and hear them, without ever leaving this room or any fear of being seen!”